Okay, time for those serious updates I’ve been talking so much about. For this issue of Kayak2012 and You, I’d like to do a bit of a feature piece on the athletes of the 2009 World Championship team. We’re a strange bunch, culled from the kayaking teams of Georgia, Hawaii, Washington DC, and Canada. You may have heard of these legends–perhaps you’ve even fantasized about them. Here’s a bit of material, for those of you who fit the latter profile. I’ve assigned middle names to each of us in quotes… feel free to discuss what the hell they mean in the comments.
MORGAN “HOTPANTS” HOUSE

This is Morgan, the K1 stud of the team and one of the three lead singers of our three-man band, The Testostertones. He has a viciously good Hawaiian accent, which he whips out each morning at breakfast in front of the Dolan brothers, desperately seeking their approval. He’s been converting each of us over to the shaved head look, so don’t be surprised if I post a shocking group photo of our hairless selves.
PAT “PATTICAKE” DOLAN

Here we have the stroke seat of the K2 500 and 1000m; He’s also the guitarist and the second of the lead singers for the Testostertones. (We’re currently working on a myspace page, which feature some of our latest tracks and a forum for our groupies to pass around pictures of us and stories about their experiences… can you tell I’m excited about this band?)
Pat and I have decided that we’ll be competing in Ironman New Zealand in 2013 after the Olympics, in a bid to qualify for the IM Worlds in Kona that year. We’ve been out on the bike and running around, living the dream… more news on that later too.
RYAN “RD” DOLAN

Here’s Ryan, arguably the biggest stud on the team and notorious sarong wearer, as depicted in this paparazzi photo from the shores of Mirror Lake. He sits behind his big bro in the K2, again for both the 500 and the 1000m.
DION “RI-DION-KULOUS” DION

I remember Dion from way back in the day, when Morgan House and I raced him in the Bantam 500m and 1000m National Champs out in California. We placed top three… victory went to me, in a stunning 2:12 finish that I vividly recall each time Morgan dominates me on a piece out here during our workouts. I’ve become intimately acquainted with Dion in the past few weeks, since we both made the national team K4. I sit behind the big boy and give him technique tips, scolding away, safe in the knowledge that no one can see MY technique. (Until we watch video. Whoops.)
TIMY “TIMMMMMMAYYYYY” HORNSBY

Now, I’m going to go ahead and say that this picture is not really the Timmy that I interact with on a daily basis–that Timmy is a madman, and strokes the National Team K4 like it was a dog at the pound in need of some serious loving. I’ll try to get some better ones of him in the upcoming workouts. That said, I want to let this pic soak in, so no more on Timmy for now.
DAVE “SLICK WILLY” PETROVICS

Dave is a surfer bum from Rhode Island, catching sicknasty waves and wakeboarding in a startlingly straight line in his off-time from paddling workouts. Since being separated from his aqueous home and displaced to Lake Placid, he’s spent at least 8 hours each day in bed, tit-tatting away on his computer keyboard, yearning for the open ocean. If you feel sympathy for this young man, make sure to click the Donate button to your left. Papa D sits 2-seat in the K4, two in front of me and one behind Big Timmy.
SAM “NON SEQUITUR” RITCHIE

And if you don’t feel sympathy for that dude above, you certainly should feel sympathy for this guy, for his face shows every indication that he finds his behavior appropriate. This is me, friends. When not smacking my paddle around, I sit 4-seat in the K4, wear hats from companies I’m not sponsored by, and generally rock out with my socks out.
Hope you’ve gotten a feel for the boys! More to come on training camp specifics very, VERY soon.
~Sam